Byung Hoon
I walk into class, hoping that Minji is here but I don’t see her anywhere. I frown in annoyance, knowing she’s trying to avoid me. I go to my usual seat in the back as I stare at her seat which is empty. I know I did wrong by her and last night’s lame attempt at an apology probably made things worse. Last night, I really wanted to talk to her and apologize but she got so angry and that made me angry and I ended up saying things I didn’t mean and to make matters worse, those *s had to butt in our business. I would have got her to listen to me if it weren't for them.
It’s clear she’s angry at me and I sort of understand why. For Mark and Seob, it’s just joking around. Their intention wasn’t to hurt her or bully her unlike those two superficial girls they were with. They wanted to look cool in front of them. The three of us are used to having girls lining up, waiting for a chance to even talk to us but not Minji and that’s why I find her so intriguing – so why did I treat her like that? I was sharing a beer with her, pouring my heart out as I told her about my dreams and she didn’t laugh at me or judge me. I had managed to pull off my mask with her – she made me feel safe and comfortable but then they came and I quickly slipped on my mask again. It’s not that I don’t trust Mark and Seob because I do, I trust them with my life. They’re good people but like me they put on masks because that’s what we’ve always been taught to do.
If you let people see the real you - they will use it against you, so it's better to put on a mask and keep yourself distanced. Don't think about friends, think only of allies and enemies.
I hear the door opening and I look up as I see Minji walking in. She’s smiling and I smile as well, glad to see her back to her happy self, even though I am still worried about how she got that scratch on her forehead. She sees me but ignores me as she hurries to her seat. I watch her take the book from her bag so I stand up and go to her. She looks at me as if she is ready to lash out at me again.
‘Don’t say anything and just listen. Please.’ I say. She scoffs and looks away but doesn’t say anything. ‘Minji, you were right, I didn’t act like a *, I was one to you. I know I should have stood up for you and stopped them. I didn’t realize just how much those words were hurting you. I am really sorry and I know a simple apology won’t be enough but I won’t stop trying. I know you probably think I am trying to trick you but I’m not. I know you think I can’t be sincere and usually, I’m not but I am being completely honest with you right now. I am sorry for the words we said to you. I am sorry that I didn’t stop them. I also want to apologize for my behaviour yesterday, both in the morning and at the shop. I shouldn’t have created a scene like that and I have no right to demand to know what happened and I know you won’t believe me but I really did get worried when I saw that mark on your forehead.’ I say. She turns to look at me and I can see the distrust in her eyes. For some reason, seeing her unable to trust me hurts more than having her yell at me or even hitting me but I can’t really blame her – the last time she trusted me, I ended up hurting her.
‘Oh you want to know how I got that? I’ll tell you – I was not upset because of what they said. I’m used to comments like that and I never let them get to me. I was upset because of you – because one moment I thought you were being my friend and the next you just straight up turned your back on me. I was upset that I let you fool me. I didn’t see where I was going and I almost got run over by a car if it wasn’t for a man who saved my ass by pushing me away.’ She says. I gasp, feeling my throat going completely dry. I feel my hands shake so I ball them into a fist to hide it. ‘There – happy now?’ She asks before she turns her head back to her book, indicating that this conversation is over.
I stand and go back to my seat and sit down with a thump, a heavy feeling in my heart and in my stomach. I almost got her killed – oh God – I think to myself as I lower my head down, feeling utterly ashamed of myself. To think I had the audacity to ask her about it when I am indirectly responsible for it. Damn I am such a fool. As I sit there, more students come in and before I know it Mark and Seob also come in. ‘Hey dude. You okay?’ Seob asks.
‘Yeah you look like you saw a ghost.’ Mark comments as the two sit down next to me.
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ I snap at them. I see them exchanging a look but they drop it. The lecture starts but I can’t focus. I can’t even tear my gaze from Minji who is writing notes and paying attention. I watch her as she keeps putting her hair behind her ear. Every now and then, Rei, Usagi and her would look at each other’s notes to make sure they didn’t miss anything. The three of them are pretty different but they all take school seriously.
‘Who remembers what the Zone of Proximal Development is? The professor asks. Most students exchange looks and then Minji raises her hand. ‘Yes Minji?’ He asks.
‘The Zone of Proximal development refers to what a child can do on his or her own without any help to progressing to the next level through aid. For example, a toddler may know how to put on his or shoes correctly but does not yet know how to tie the lace. The MKO, in other words the more knowledge other will show him how to do it in order to learn how to do it by him or herself.’ Minji answers and the professor smiles proudly.
‘Well done Minji.’ He says as he turns back to the presentation.
‘What a nerd.’ I hear the girl who is sitting in front of me say and I frown.
‘Stop calling her that.’ I say. The girl looks at me and gives me a puzzled look and then turns back around. I see Mark and Seob exchange a look.
‘What up with you today?’ Mark asks.
'Yeah, you're acting weird and more snappy than usual.' Seob says but before he can continue the professor turns around and looks at us.
‘Can the gentlemen at the back stop talking? Otherwise, just leave the class.’ The professor says, clearly annoyed. Mark and Seob shift in their seat and stop talking. We finally finish the double lecture and the other double after it so we go the canteen. Sitting a few seats away from us are Minji, Rei and Usagi as they chat happily.
‘I’m going to the bathroom.’ I say to Mark and Seob who nod. I leave my seat and go downstairs where the bathrooms are. As I finish and go to go out, I see Minji by the vending machine as she puts in the money. Two girls approach her and I stay where I am and look on.
‘Hey! What do you think you’re doing slapping Byung Hoon like that?’ One of the girls, who I don’t even know yells. Minji rolls her eyes and gets her stuff out of the vending machine, completely ignoring her which makes me smile. ‘Yah! I’m talking to you *.’ The girl says, putting a hand on her shoulder. Minji looks at her hand and then back at her.
‘Get your hand off me if you value it.’ She warns her in a low tone. ‘Why I slapped him is none of your business.’ She tells her. The girl chuckles and suddenly raises her hand to punch her but Minji ducks just in time, causing the girl to punch the machine instead. The girl lets out a painful cry as she holds her hand.
‘You know you deserve that.’ I say from my spot, the girls turning to look at me. Even Minji does and I see her look at me in disbelief before she quickly recovers her shock. ‘You shouldn’t have called her that and you shouldn’t have tried to punch her. Be grateful she didn’t hit you back or it would have hurt worse, trust me.’ I say.
‘Oppa!’ The other one says, making me roll my eyes as she comes to stand before me, batting her fake eyelashes. I just look away, ignoring her. ‘My friend was just defending your honour because that nerd slapped you.’ She says and this time I look at her.
‘I deserved it. Now stop bothering her and leave. You should probably go get some ice for that.’ I say. The two girls turn around and hurry away. Minji looks at me, her face expressionless.
‘What are you trying to do?’ She asks and I stay silent. ‘If you think I am going to thank you, you are wrong. I didn’t need your help.’ She says as she turns to leave and I sigh, yet, I also find myself smiling. Oh I know you didn't need my help.
After we finish from the lectures, Mark, Seob and I go to my house which is actually a pretty big mansion. I smile at the housekeeper who is in charge of all the maids and workers here. She’s also the one who practically raised me up. Eomma died when I was just a toddler and Appa cares more about his work than our family. So, Mrs. Hun became responsible for me – she helped me learn everything I know but Appa’s influence has always been there. ‘Byung Hoon – your father called to inform you that the business meeting is taking longer than expected and he doesn’t know when he will be returning.’ She informs.
‘And he couldn’t call me to say that?’ I ask as I shake my head and she gives me a sad, sympathetic look. ‘I don’t know why I am even surprised anymore. Come on – let’s go to the game room.’ I say to Mark and Seob. They nod at Mrs. Hun and then we hurry to the basement which was transformed into a game room. We put our bags in the corner and settle at the poker game. Mark shuffles the card and starts to hand them out.
‘Byung what’s been bothering you these last couple of days? You’ve been acting weird since Friday.’ Seob says.
‘Yeah and these past two days, you’ve been even worse. Does it have to do anything with Minji?’ Mark asks and I look at him and sigh. ‘It does, doesn’t it? Are you upset she slapped you in front of everyone?’ He asks and I shake my head.
‘No, I deserved that and worse. Truth is, on Friday I saw her walking to the beach alone and I’m the one who went out after her. I don’t know how to explain this but we were talking and stuff and then you guys came along and I just…’ I say.
‘You went to the Byung everyone knows – the rich, spoiled, * and we didn’t help much.’ Mark says, chewing on the inside of his cheek, showing his own regret.
‘Do you know she was almost run over by a car that night? We almost got her killed.’ I inform them and I hear the two of them gasp. I run my hand through my hair and sigh.
‘Daebak! I didn’t realize it was that bad. I mean, we were just joking around.’ Seob says.
‘It’s not what you said that hurt her but more my behaviour. She felt like I tricked her and in a sense, I guess I did. She probably feels like I set her up to get ridiculed and since you posted that photo, a girl went to try and punch her today but Minji has quick reflexes. She ended up punching the vending machine instead.’ I say with a bit of a smile.
‘What? Really?’ Seob exclaims. ‘You know, for a quiet girl, she sure knows how to throw a punch or two.’ He adds and I nod.
‘Do you like her Byung?’ Mark asks, forcing me into a coughing fit. ‘I guess that answers that question.’ He adds laughing as he fists bumps with Seob.
‘No, no I don’t like her. It’s just I find her interesting – she’s honest unlike many of the other girls we’re surrounded by. You know where you stand with her, there aren't any double standards.’ I say but they look at me as if to say they don’t believe me. ‘Shut up already! I don’t like her… I just want us to be friends.’ I say.
‘Sure you do.’ Seob says chuckling as I give him a glare. ‘Look if you do, all you got to do is ask her out on a date.’ He says as he shrugs.
‘Seob I don’t think it’s a good idea right now.’ Mark says. ‘She’s *ed off at him. If he asks her out, she’ll probably knock his teeth out the moment he finishes speaking, if she lets him finish.’ He explains as he crosses his arms across his chest and raises one eyebrow.
‘And knowing Byung – even if she did tolerate him, he’ll probably say it all wrong and mess it all up which probably would result in her hitting him either way.’ Seob says.
‘Will you two cut it out? I told you. I don’t like her. I don’t want to date her. She’s not my type at all – I like girls who are small, timid, delicate – she’s not– she may be quiet in class but she’s loud and has no manners and she’s the complete opposite of delicate. Do you know how much her hits hurt?’ I say remembering the time she hit me on the beach and the slap I got yesterday. ‘I just want to be friends with her. Can’t a guy and a girl be just friends?’ I ask, yelling a bit.
‘Sure, I guess but it’s going to be a process so we're going to need a plan. She doesn’t look like the type to just forget easily and her temper seems to be on the same wavelength as yours.’ Mark says.
‘Which definitely isn’t a good thing.’ Seob says. ‘You just need to learn to be honest with her and with yourself.’ He adds.
‘It won’t be the end of the world if you let the world see the real you. If all of us do that.’ Mark says and I sigh.